Friday, 4 October 2019

SO MUCH TO SAY | Graduation, Degree, Working prospect

Hello, I'm back after 9102 years lol, sorry for taking so long, I did not forget my password, I just cannot make up my mind on what to write about but I have a lot to say. Sometimes I feel like writing something but I just stopped because I hesitate about whether or not I am over-sharing, like sharing too much information about myself, but if you're here since the beginning you will know how this blog runs lol, I don't update often because I don't gain profit from here, I am just writing to document things that I want to remember like a diary whenever I want. (I am actually writing this in the middle of the night, 1:19am)

Okay, let's jump into topic, shall we?

As seen on the topic, yes, I was graduated from my diploma in broadcast communication, ended my two years of suffers but I jump right into another hell, yes, my degree, I am currently taking my bachelor degree of broadcast communication in the same school (my school is a college university, so I can continue my degree in the same place). My graduation was held on the end of August, it's also the end of my first semester of degree year 2. Diploma has been pretty fine, I mean diploma is quite easy, compares to degree (Degree is like ughhh, all the video production and course works...), I could say diploma is where I find myself in what I love, I always know I love the film industry but diploma helped me to further understand myself, and which part of the industry should I pursue. Diploma, for me, is the period to further explore yourself, it is a period of transitioning from a teen to an adult I could say. Diploma is where you create all the shitty student films lolll, it also means the time to explore things on your own and no one will judge you even if your work is shitty in a sense that no one could possibly perceive your aesthetic lol, but this is where people give you advice and tips on developing a better content. I am really grateful to have the best teachers that I could possibly meet in my life, all the lecturers and tutors that have taught me and gave me chances to create things and allow me to have a piece of my mind even I am just a student. To all the ones that can remember my name, thank you.

Degree has been a little tough, perhaps it was just the first semester and I haven't get my nerves back on track, I mean it is extra stressful, compares to all the semesters I had back in diploma. I have like so many course works, no matter it's written or video production, I kinda felt suffocated for a tiny bits of time, but I got my mind back to working really quickly. Degree is stressful and tough, seems like there are so much going on at the same time, but I do learn a lot, okay, for my course, degree has more practical subjects than diploma, during diploma we are just learning the theoretical stuff like mass comm theories, cinematography (but in a theoretical way, like look, this is 180 degree rule of film), but degree we get the chance to actually produce something with the knowledge we learned from diploma. Moreover, after the internship I had during diploma, I learned more practical stuff in film production as well, so it actually helps a lot in my recent video productions. (i'll link them here so that you can watch it if you want: Documentary & Short film ; I have made two short films during diploma as well, if you want to see what shitty student works look like, here they are: Sarah & Radiant, I want to make it clear, I don't hate them, I love every single story I wrote, but for the technical part, there are so much more to improve.)

Since I am already a degree student, which means a year and more I will have to get my ass out to work in the real industry, so it got me anxious about my working prospect, especially when the industry that I'll be pursuing has so many unknown factors, it is still kind of an exploratory type of industry in my country, it's changing every now and then. Moreover, I kinda have chances to be apart of some productions in the industry recently, the more I was involved, the more I am worried. I am kind of afraid of these uncertainties, I know what position I want to pursue, but am I capable to? How long will it take for me to get to the position I want? 10 years? Which company to pursue? Freelance or in-house? Do I need to think of a plan B if this job in my head don't keep me a living?All of these got me so lost, and I have no time to have a gap year before work, I have to get my ass out to earn so that I'll be able to pay my study loan. There are so many uncertainties about working in this industry, but it is what I love, so it's kinda like a love-hate situation here, finger-crossed, hope that I'll figure it out asap. 

Alright, that is all I want to talk about, thanks for coming back to my little land and how bout you? What are you up to? 🌻

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